Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Oops - that didnt come out the way I intended it to!
I laughed last week when an acquaintance commented that it was lovely to see me and that I had such an infected smile! I am sure her compliment was not meant to undermine my dental hygiene - she obviously meant infectious! She wasn't embarrassed because she didn't know she had made a faux pas.
Unlike my embarrassment, when my father enquired about the homework I was busy with, and I replied that we were learning about orgasms in biology. He gave a nervous cough and looked intently at the TV - I blushed bright red as I knew that what I had meant to say was organisms and I also knew what an orgasm was - although I didn't want my dad to know that I knew!
I was once stopped by a traffic officer - in those days before cameras when a mustached and sun glassed uniform would jump out of the bushes at stop streets. When I pleaded my innocence and said that I had in fact stopped, he said my wheels were definitely revolting! When I laughed hysterically, he threatened to arrest me for assault!!
My grandmother arrived in a panic one Monday morning with Sunday paper, The News of the World tucked under her arm. She was very perturbed by an article about 'Lebanese' women and shocked that she had "lived on this earth for seventy years and didn't know that women who loved other women existed!"
I had 7 years of French lessons at school before I realised that I was born without the part of the brain that allows me to learn a second language (apparently we use a completely different part of the brain to learn language as adults to that we use as children) During a French oral exam I managed to tell Mademoiselle Wood that "je suis fou!" (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold). A bit like Lauren!
Sometimes it's not the speaker who gets it all wrong! I once took a telephone call inviting me to a special opening at Bhiso - WOW I thought - with a picture of myself in traditional dress stood with Mandela - as I asked for more details - Only to find I was talking to a lady from 'Be Sure' Security who was telling me about opening specials!
And those of you on Facebook who recently offered advice to my friend regarding her neighbour's cock - she was referring to the rooster on the property next door. Shame on you!!!!