Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Living in a Barbie World

I’m a barbie girl, in a barbie world.
Life in plastic, it’s fantastic.
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere.
Imagination, that is your creation.
Come on Barbie, let’s go party!

I have had a pink week! Not only breast cancer awareness but I have been early Christmas shopping for my grandies and Jessica is in Barbie mode. Just like the song Barbie lives in a pink plastic world.
I was amazed at just what I can buy for Barbie - clothes for every occasion, minute shoes, bags, even hair accessories, furniture, a house, a car, a swimming pool, a horse, a completely equipped veterinary practice - Barbie has a busy life. Not only is Barbie known as a fashion icon, she is also a pet lover. She has over forty pets which include horses, a panda, cats and dogs, a zebra, a lion club, among others. She also has collections of vehicles, a pilot license, which allows her to maneuver commercial airlines. Barbie is awesome!
Barbie is a popular girl - she has friends and she even has a mate - Ken  - supplied for her pleasure. Poor Ken comes in the clothes he stands up in and very little else. As far as I know he doesn't even have a car - he has to borrow Barbie's, and Ken's wardrobe choice is very sad - a dinner suit and a few Hawaiian shirts. Although thinking about it, the male and female wardrobe and shoe collection in my world has some similarities!
Believe me Barbie World exists and  you can hang out with her there - I did today! They use their own currency there called B- bucks. I was given 100 B bucks for registering, Barbie tells me its about Fun, Fashion and Friendship - today I made friends with Messyjessy, Heartangel and Justina 998 - whoever they are? Everyone in Barbie world is getting ready for Halloween and for a few hundred rands - your Barbie can have all the gear too from witches outfit to miniature pumpkin for trick and treating and a minute black cat - Scary Stuff! I had a complete makeover in Barbie World which included an eye lift so that I resembled this perfect pink princess. Come to think of it how much cosmetic surgery is prompted by the image as Barbie as the perfect woman. Here is the low down on Barbie.....
Poor Barbie, she may someday marry Ken, but chances are, they will never have children. Based on research done by Rader Programs, the percent of Barbie's body fat would be too low.

If Barbie were a real person, she would be 6' 0", weigh 100 lbs., and wear a size 4. Her measurements would be 39"/19"/33". She would probably have had to have back surgery from being so top heavy.
The average woman is 5' 4", weighs 145 lbs., and wears between a size 11-14. Her measurements are approximately 36"/30"/41". There is a fifty-fifty chance that she is on a diet right now.

Barbie's real full name Barbara Millicent Roberts. Barbie's parents were George and Margaret Roberts from the fictional town of Willows, Wisconsin. It has been said that the girl named Barbie attended her secondary school at Willow High School and Manhattan International High School in New York City, based on the real-life Stuyvesant High School. Barbie's real love interest was named Ken Carson who first appeared in 1961 two years after she was released in the market. A press release from Mattel Company announced the sad news that Barbie and Ken split in February 2004, however, the couple decided to reunite in February 2006.
How Sad!!!! that poor man - I bet he went wild in those 2 years of freedom! I think he went back because of the car or perhaps he missed the forty pets!
I enjoyed my trip to Barbie World where Barbie drinks a toast to perfection each day with the elixir of youth.  In the real world we grow old. If Barbie lived in our world - these are the dolls that would be on the shelf today.
Realistic Barbie. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too), neck chain, and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
Hot Flush Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beetroot red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with handheld fan and tiny tissues.
Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.
Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new,roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, two-MuMus with tummy-support panels are included.
Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
Divorced Barbie. Normal Barbie sells got R199.99 - this one sells for R 1 199.99 but she comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat and Ken's only suit and the four Hawaiian Shirts off his back.
Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
Come on Barbie, let’s go party!

4 comments:

  1. Oh my I am laughing so much. Excellent and very well written

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  2. thanks Sam - enjoyed writing it and visiting Barbie world. i just loved the photo of what Barbie should look like now - dark rings under her eyes and grey hair!! Looking for Bifocals Barbie x LOL!

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  3. I love !! Sarcastic, funny... really well written ! Thanks for this fairy tale about Barbie returning back to reality !!

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  4. Excellent analogy. Thanks. I hope you don't mind I share it, mentioning the author of course.

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