Sunday, January 29, 2012

Not the Biggest Loser!

Life is tough! After a whole week of denying myself and spending time jumping around, the scale has barely budged - only a comma of a kilo. Sigh!
To top it all I flat lined on the step machine this morning at gym - there was no reading which I suppose means that I don't even have a pulse - a tad worrying. I am beginning to wonder if the gym that I am using is the right place for me. Looking around I see there are some quite 'curvy people' and I am being polite! Some of them have been going as long as I have and I don't think I am much of an inspiration for them either. Although I do smile a lot and say, "Change stations now" when the recording forgets to. Which usually gets me some sympathetic looks but not many smiles! Its not true - fat people are not that jolly! There was a lady walking around this morning with a T shirt on that said 100 - she didnt look a day over 85 - seriously!
My gym also awards a monthly title to the month's Biggest Loser". I am not sure that I want that title - I have be conditioned to be celebrate winning -not losing! Perhaps that's where the problem lies....
My reflexologist, a very wise and curvy lady who looks like she has never denied herself anything in her life, told me that the body doesn't like to lose anything - give anything away. It certainly seems that mine is very attached to its wobbly bits and indeed wants to keep every inch of it so maybe I am fighting a losing battle - the battle of the bulge! A weighty war which holds only a slim chance of victory! Maybe the battle is won at my age when you stay the same and not pile more on. The generations that have gone before us had an easier time I'm sure - people were allowed to grow older and fatter gracefully - my mom didn't have the pressure of sixty being the new forty and enjoyed a cream cake nearly every day!
All of this is enough to give me the shakes and perhaps I should reach for one instead of tucking into that chiabata with salami, tomato and mozzarella at lunchtime.

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