Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Several years ago I was reading a magazine (Femina - do you remember it?) and saw an article about what women carry in their handbags. The article attempted to do an analysis of a woman's personality based on the handbag's content. I wrote to Femina and confessed that I must be a phychological mess as the content of my handbag was as deranged as I am. They published that letter under the title of 'Bag Lady' and as I had signed it in my own name - I was shamed into tidying my act up little.
Yesterday I was chatting to my sister, Julia, who confessed to discovering part of a flag pole in her handbag - yes a flagpole! "Eccentricity must be in the genes," I commented and yes she had a pair of those in her bag too! They had spent a weekend away at there river boat in the Lake District and they were part of the 'holiday handbag' she had returned with. We ALL know what a 'holiday handbag' is don't we?
When I was young and carefree, my handbag was as slender as I was and held only my needs for that particular outing - lipstick, purse, key and perhaps chewing gum. When I married my bag became heavier and not only held my 'stuff' but household things and often my hubby's keys too. As the children came along my bag got bigger and bigger - baby essentials, precious stones that were picked up along the way, leaflets, crayons, small monsters and dinky cars were added to my make-up, purse, keys and the slim packet of chewing gum replaced with smarties or a whole array of treats that could be offered as a bribe to chase away any impending tantrum! On family outings the car keys, sunscreen, half eaten sandwiches and other essentials would be handed over to me too and at times I wished that my handbag had wheels.
More than once when we have been out and about and my now teenage boys were bored, they say,"Let's have a look at what mom has got in her handbag," and then fall about laughing as they pulled out batteries, old tickets, assorted notebooks, part of a fridge (that I was sourcing a replacement), a set of 'L' plates and the unlikely discovery of the power cable to my sewing machine complete with the operator foot! I felt very bad about this until I was at a function last year and we had handbag confessions and one lady had her childs first baby tooth in her bag - this child was now twenty one. I felt a bit better about having part of my sewing machine with me after hearing that!!
I dreamt that when the family were off my hands, once more my 'baggage' would become lighter to reflect my dream of carefree existence! Today my handbag is still a nightmare. At this moment it holds my keys, phone, hand cream, piece of red beaded glitzy trimming to add to a dress, two notebooks, 5 pens, 3 lipsticks and one lipstick top, powder compact, ID, a passport (why am I carrying my passport?), purse (which is possibly the size of my first handbag and holds 5 English pounds and several photos of the grandies), two packs of tissue (a lot of people cry in my life), a camera (no comment), a spare pair of knickers (no comment), a CD that was free with a magazine, theatre tickets, a collapsible shopping bag, 2 spectacle cases (no specs in), 2 flash drives, eye drops, powder compact, perfume, folding hairbrush, plasters, cheap brooch off Chinese shop dress (this has been to Australia and back - through airport security) and Vigroids - for clarity of voice! Perhaps I should s-c-r-eam!
I have only myself to blame for this - my hetic lifestyle and a tendancy to clutter has resulted in a handbag that weighs 4.5k and if I dont control this tendancy soon I will die with a hump on my back and my casket will probably sport a roof rack and pull a trailer!!! HELP! I need bag therapy!