Friday, May 9, 2014

Mum's the Word!

As I get older I value more and more the things that my mum taught me and as I type this I am smiling to myself. Physically we were not a bit alike. She was short - petite - less than 5 ft tall! She wore size 4 shoes and she was quiet, reserved and quite timid! We do have the same colour eyes but my hair colour is fairer and she used Wood Nymph Blond to restore hers to its former glory. We do however share a light hearted view of life and a sense of humour. She used to say the funniest of things and I can still hear her saying them today.

*  "She/He doesn't come from Givington" : This expression was used when referring to a stingy person and we knew quite a few and felt sorry for them..
*  "They weren't at the back of the queue when they were handing out noses!" A different way of saying someone had a big conk and was adapted to various body parts as and when necessary.
*  "Just be grateful that you have two of everything down the side and one of everything up the middle." This was how she comforted us girls when we got overwrought about not being pretty enough or were having a bad hair day.
* "Never let your left hand know what your right hand is doing." Not sure on this one but it was said with a knowing look and a nodding of the head to indicate that it was wise. I think it was a  complicated way of reminding me not to blab my secrets - and our families - out to the world!
* "Every pan has a lid." Usually served with tea, toast and tissues when there was boy trouble and often followed by "There are plenty more fish in the sea." and the offer of a biscuit!
* "You are a long time looking at the lid." If ever in doubt as to whether to buy something or enjoy yourself in any way - this advice was another way of saying "Go for it!" The lid referred to a coffin lid!
* "Well - I'll go t 'foot of our stairs." An expression of astonishment and usually followed by "Well I never!" and a pause and then "Life is stranger than fiction!"
*  "J ---- C----- Almighty B---- W--- help me with you shower of Sh---.This was like an air raid siren warning and meant that my three brothers had been up to something and stay clear of her and the house if possible for at least 2 hours.
* "If ever a woman suffered!" This was the equivalent of the all clear siren and meant that she was calming down.
* "Susan, remember that you are a lady." this was usually served in public and in her posh voice. It sometimes preceded "You're behaviour is appalling!" and confused us children into believing that our mum had been abducted by aliens and she had been replaced by Margaret Thatcher.

If she were here now she would probably tell me to."wipe that silly grin off my face as its making you look gormless."I cant help but smile when remembering her funny quirky sayings and ways. I am so grateful that I inherited her resourcefulness, her down to earth approach to life and its trials and tribulations, and more than ever I am so glad that I wasn't at the back of the queue when they were handing out a sense of humour!
Thanks Mum!


  1. I love these posts about my grandparents as I didn't have the opportunity to get to know them. By any chance are either of them responsible for this... "When you were a baby I had to tie sausages around your neck so dogs would play with you!" - My Dad :)

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  3. That sounds like something mum would say and your dad was a little rip !!!!! That's another blog lol