Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Cross Dresser?

This is a postscript to my previous post about our belated honeymoon to Zambia.

I am a girl - so I made a list, shopped, packed and was pretty organised as I have travelled so much in the past twelve months that I am tired of last minute packing panic attacks which result in my lugging half my wardrobe around. I coordinated and planned my look - think five star safari designer nautical casual!
V is a boy - so he has a suitcase slightly larger than a matchbox and what isn't in it - he begs, borrows or buys when we get to where we are going. This trip he surpassed himself by leaving most of his clothes behind! The phone rings,"Babe, I am just outside Mthatha." "Wow!" I exclaimed,"You sure are making good time." "Yes," came the reply, "but there is a problem." The problem was that in his rush to set off early he had grabbed his matchbox size case and left all his hanging items ie. Shirts, smart trousers and jacket on the hangers by the door in the man cave! My suggestion to pop into PEP stores in Mthatha was not taken kindly, we were leaving at 6am the next morning and I had a busy day ahead. OK - packing panic attack courtesy of Mr Niemack! I ran to Walmer Park and grabbed what I could that I thought would fit my man and that he may wear - he claims to be easy to please but he has definite tastes - sort of Old Khaki meets Yves Saint Lauren! Jackets were not within my budget so I used my lifeline and phoned a friend. When I enquired about trouser waist sizes I am informed he has a couple of pairs of smart jeans and one other pair of trousers.
He arrives, there is an inspection of my purchases and a slight nod of the head for three of the shirts that I had managed to find. We raced to the lifesaver jacket friend who had the most perfect jacket which was greeted with a more definite nod of the head. I am saved from spending my 5 star honeymoon with a scarecrow groom.
We dress for dinner on the first evening and he looks quite grand in the borrowed jacket, new shirt and smart pants. We are enjoying a glass of wine on the deck before we go and some nibbles. Being a savvy traveller I have packed wine, spirits, Amarula, chips, crackers, chocolates ect as I know these resorts charge in dollars and I so resent paying through the nose for anything! When we get to the resort restaurant and starters are from R120 and desserts from R160 I am so pleased that I took our starter nibbles and desserts with us!
We order our surprisingly reasonable main course and V slips away to the loo - he returns and whispers," Sue, I think I have your trousers on." I raise my eyebrows. I look. They are not mine. "They are definitely girls trousers." he says. "the fastenings are all on the other side" I look again. They are not mine. I raise my eyebrows. "Whose are they then?" He has no idea. I am now with a man wearing a borrowed jacket and girls trousers!
I down my wine - wine cures everything! 

NB. Back in our room we inspect the foreign trousers. They are ladies grey size 14  I am more jealous that he wears a smaller size than me in ladies trousers than the fact that he has packed a pair of strange woman's trouser on our honeymoon! We convince ourselves that they have found their way from the Bush Lodge laundry into his wardrobe by mistake. I down my wine!

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