Saturday, January 3, 2015
Waiting for the storm to pass
I don't have a lifetime left but I do have a whole new year lying before me and yesterday I bought a new 'inner' for my diary and as per usual when I see those blank pages it fills me with both fear and excitement. Fear that I will not fill it with enough work to keep me going financially - everyone who is self employed will understand this - and excitement that those pages are mine to fill - again everyone who is self employed will understand!
I do sense a year of great change ahead - I've been spending more time in the mancave and leave again today, this time Jessica is coming for a short holiday. An exciting holiday is already in the diary as V and I will be visiting Singapore and Thailand in February to see Sean, Nadine and Katherine. Not a place that was ever on my bucket list but I am so happy that I can see these special people, curious to explore the new and am also curious as to how I will handle the humidity or rather how my hair will cope - I will start practising interesting ways with a bandanna shortly - I don't have ten thousand hours to practise that either!
I am hoping this year that I will be able to show V my roots in the frozen north and introduce him to my family there and I know there will be other interesting places to explore together. I am so happy and grateful to have him in my life.
This month is also the anniversary of loss and I have amazed myself in many ways at how I coped with all the changes that terrible day brought. Again I am reminded that its not what life throws at you but how you handle it. When life gives you lemons - make lemonade - or better still grab the tequila and salt and throw a Mexican themed party!
My year ended on a pretty down note as my car gave up on me travelling though the Transkei and as I sat by the side of the road helpless and traffic whizzed past, I wondered how long I would sit there immobilised with fear at being in a dodgy area, three hours from Pietermaritzburg and seven hours from PE with no knowledge of car engines. I tried to start the car and it was dead - not a sound as I turned the key and yet I turned the key again and again before I realised that the car wasn't going to come back to life. This was how it was and no amount of thinking positively was going to change the situation. All I could do was to accept that I was stuck, rely on friends and family and pray that I would reach my destination safely. Another lesson learned on my journey and not one that is unfamiliar. Acceptance, Prayer and Friends and Family - these are essential companions on my journey called Life.
Grateful that I have all of the above - I continue on my journey this year .......on foot as my car is still out of action - Where is that tequila???