Sunday, April 17, 2016

THAT GIRL

I would like to make it official that I am not THAT GIRL. I realised this once more as I arrived at a function last week - one of those that invites you to bring along a plate of eats and a bottle of something. THAT GIRL arrived with a home made Quiche beautifully garnished on a gorgeous platter within a special container - probably Tupperware - with a dome over it. I arrived with my snacks in a plastic WW packet still in the packaging and nothing to spread the soft cheese with. HER wine was in a floral cooler bag - mine was in my handbag! We all know THAT GIRL. I envy her but I will never ever be her.I have tried!
I just don't have the organising skills - whatever part of the brain they live in - I was born without it. I wonder sometimes that I have a professional job which, I believe I do quite well. I don't think I have ever forgot an appointment or a group of learners.  I manage to satisfy my accountant by keeping my financials in reasonable order and I have a filing system - sort of! I meet my deadlines consistently and I ......... I don't know why I cant apply all of this order in my personal life.
I have done my share of entertaining - how I don't know - and many friends have dined at "Chez Moi' but they have also gone home without  me serving the home made bread with the soup, the cream with dessert and once I put the garlic bread in to warm while the apple crumble was in the oven and my good friends politely ate garlic apple crumble for dessert without batting an eyelid.
I have had many hobbies and each time I find something creative that I love to do, I throw myself into it with wild abandon. I beg, borrow or buy everything I need and all the lovely ways to store everything I need. I have made umpteen sewing accessories - beautiful pinwheels, scissor keepers, needle cases and quaint tote bags to carry it all to my embroidery lessons. The reality is that I arrive with my crumpled project in a WW plastic carrier bag and my needles and threads in a tangled heap somewhere amongst it. THAT GIRL has matching sets of all the said sewing accessories finely stitched in single thread with colour coordinated scissor and thimble.
I love Scrapbooking and have many albums and most of the equipment. I have a case on wheels, a special container with little divisions in - like a tool box - from Builders Warehouse. I have a portable stand with compartments to hold my glue and scissors and tape and inks, that  can sit on my workstation so when I go Scrapbooking THAT GIRL has all that too,,,,,,, with her! Mine is all at home - somewhere - and I arrive with my stuff in a WW packet except I forget my scissors and my ruler and even though I have THE perfect papers for this project bought overseas, I have left that at home too!
I was born this way - I realised at school. One year my class teacher bought everyone in class a small gift - sweets and a lip balm. My gift was a comb - even this humiliation could not bring about the desired change - my curls - like my school stationery - refused to be tamed! I didn't have the full set of Colleens I left a trail of pencil sharpenings and my eraser left dirty marks on my work. I had brains but no finesse - nothings changed!
I don't think I will ever stop trying though, I will continue to collect the photo boxes to keep my photos in - even though they lie unused in the spare room while my photos are in a huge pile in the study. I expect that now I am learning to crochet , that I will have a lovely fabric roll to keep my crochet hooks in, and a wool stash in a wicker basket which will be a decor accessory, giving the impression to visitors that I am a homely organic girl. I also expect that I will arrive at class with a WW packet with my work hurriedly stuffed in and my crochet hook will be under the car seat and I will have to use someone elses for the lesson (like last week). I have lovely camera bags and yet my spare lens is in a fluffy sock which I stuff in my pocket on the way out. So darlings,  you make look at me and think that I am a swan sailing though life serenely but underneath the surface I am paddling like a turbo duck trying to get my ducklings in a row!
PS If you are THAT GIRL -please know that I am in awe of you :-)


Friday, April 15, 2016

The Gift of ME

L-O-N-G time since I blogged - I almost got through February with my commitments to spend a month blogging about Love and then........I was blogged out! Writing or any creative pursuit requires that you give something of yourself and for the last few weeks I haven't been in that place. Frankly,  I had nothing to give and have felt quite drained both emotionally and physically. Having to cope with my own health issues, an operation and juggling work commitments on top of worrying about my beloved's illness and all that goes with that has left me depleted. So............. I decided this week was going to be about ME. I had a couple of work things to do but for most of the time I have made a conscious effort to be kind to me, to indulge in activities that enrich me.
I am very fond of using the Wheel of Life Activity - you know that one where you draw a circle - create a wheel with eight spokes and then label them into areas of your life and then reflect on your level of satisfaction in each area on a scale of one to five.  I thought what makes me - ME and what sparks my joy and labelled my spokes under those heading. I reflected on health, creativity, friendships, self esteem, spirituality, energy, hobbies and home and these were the areas that I focused on deliberately seeking out opportunities to replenish them. So this week I have attended a crochet class, committed to an evening art group from May, joined a gym and have already attended, had an evening out with friends....and another one tomorrow! I have had lunch with three special friends, pottered in my garden and planted colourful pots to brighten my coming week. I have bought a Nutri bullet and have been experimenting with smoothies and what I call 'swamp juice' - that's spinach and a whole heap of veggies liquidised and down downed to get your healthy five a day! I have read, meditated, journalled, watched TV in bed till late and slept in till 8am. I have had long soaks with a face pack on - I have visited the hairdresser and I have been chasing sunsets, I have joined an online photography group and a group of Fabulously Inspiring Women online.  I have listened to my favourite music and have danced around my bed more than once. I have been shopping with my granddaughter and then we had fun on the beach with our cameras. I have tasted the best Thai curry that I have ever had ,,,,,,,,and I am going back for more!
The week is coming to an end but I still have a birthday party (my grandson is turning 7) and evening performance of Suzelle and the rest of a series to watch. I am not looking at any work until Sunday afternoon even though its sitting in my study ready for my facilitation next week.

I feel a whole whole lot better and a whole lot more ME. Now the challenge is to keep on giving to me. I think of my heart, mind and soul as a dam and if you keep giving - and you do in my line of work on top of relationships and family,  you empty your dam  and you  just cant give to others if you are empty - so this week has been a deluge of self love and a lesson to keep that dam topped up in proportion to what is being channelled to others. Let my writing and blogging flow again. Let me not forget to put myself first often.