Thursday, October 26, 2023

Home ❤❤❤


There's no place like home! But where is home - most people can answer that question without thinking but for someone like myself who has lived over half my life out of this country its a bit more complicated. I came to ponder this question because of a gift I was given for my 70th birthday by my son - its an unusual gift in that each week I am asked to enter the answer to a question about my life online at a site called Storyworth - the questions vary from, 'Tell my about your grandparents ?' - to 'What has been your favourite job ?' to ,'What is the best meal you have ever had?' and the latest question, 'If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?' The answers to all these questions become chapters in a book that is compiled at the end of the year. I have enjoyed answering the questions and my family have enjoyed reading my answers and I'm sure my grandchildren will enjoy the 'book' in years to come. It's the last question about where is the world I would chose to live that had me thinking about where is my home  - this was my response.

........There are many places that I have enjoyed visiting and where I could happily spend time but home is really where the heart is or should I say ........ where my heart is that's my home. I am finding it challenging to live in a country where I have no children or grandchildren as I value the time I spend with them but I know that I get to spend real quality time with you all when in SA and the USA. I am enjoying the connections I have with my siblings here - even though they are fewer than I would like. I feel loved and cared for by Nick and a sense of belonging with my birthplace but it is a question I ponder often - Would I stay here if I was alone? I am not sure what the answer would be.  The ideal would be for my children and grandchildren to be in one place and me to be there but I'm not sure that's going to happen.
In the meantime I feel at home in moments when I am :-

In the African bush watching wild animals at sunset or at the watering holes or at dawn when the birds are calling.
In an English country garden enjoying the shrubs, roses, flowers and butterflies.
In an art gallery surrounded by thought provoking art work and exhibits.
On the beach with the sun warming my shoulders with a book in my hand.
Walking through the woods and countryside in Spring.
In an Irish pub listening to  traditional songs or Gaelic music.
Around a table in South Africa with my oldest and dearest friends.
In New Zealand surrounded by mountains that sweep dramatically down to the sea.
When I am hanging out  and creating memories with my family in Michigan.
Celebrating life and enjoying the company of my family in South Africa.

When we were given the opportunity to work in South Africa in forty years ago, we thought we were going on an adventure that would perhaps last five or so years but we fell in love with SA - the country - the people and the opportunity if offered us and knowing that if we worked hard that the rewards would be great. And boy did we work hard! In fact I had never worked as hard in my life and Tony didn't have a day off in nearly two years and I mean a Saturday or a Sunday he worked twelve hours a day, seven days a week! Of course things got easier as time went by and he rose to the top of his profession. Life just evolved there and although we spoke about a future of spending time in both the UK and SA in retirement, the SA currency declined and declined and that option hovered elusively out of our reach. No one can foresee the future and all you can do is make the best decision you can at that moment in your life. In reality England is not the country we left and South Africa is not the country we arrived in. So where is home?

 

It’s hard to spot a fork in the road of life, harder still to make a deliberate choice which way to go. But sometimes you can catch a fleeting glimpse of one as it disappears in the rear-view mirror. The outcome doesn’t change, but many miles down the road, with the map unfolded in front of you, it’s possible to point to the fork and say: Yes, that’s where we took a different route and in our case it resulted in a different life. I know I am not the only person to live very far from my children - it's become more and more common. There comes a point in your life that your nuclear family stop being a package deal and your adult children have to make the best decisions for themselves and indeed their own families. Technology makes this easier to stay connected - where would we be without it - but its not ideal. I'm fortunate to be able to spend a fair bit of time with my family every year. This is what I know is true for me.......

Home is uncertain. Home is where my family are. My family are in several places. Home is where my heart is. My heart has the ability to be in several places at once. I carry my home around within me.❤❤❤❤

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